It has been a frustrating couple of weeks. I am having a bit of difficulty with Youth leadership (or lack there of) in our Youth group. This problem has been an ongoing issue for the past year or two. In addition to that I have had a few frustrations that I am trying to work through and resolve.
I say that to make a long story short. I will not name, names because I am not into that but I have had a young lady, who is a dear friend, helping out with the youth group and other things. Over the course of the past few months she has had some changes and adjustments and so her aid has been limited. As a result of her limits and my heaping distress, I had been unintentionally taking out my frustrations on her. Nothing overtly mean, but subtle, curt, short responses. My attitude and demeanor would change quickly when she would tell me she couldn't help out or stay the whole time.
Now I have always tried to be one who lets things role off my back, so I would try and put on a "That's cool," or "It's not problem" face but the truth is, inside I was getting more and more angry.
I am a big believer in Behavior Psychology. I believe that we as humans have a Psychological element to our make up. We can't stuff emotions or thoughts down and forget about them, one way or another they will find a way to come out and be expressed. So that happy face I tried to put on would often be replaced by my angst.
So this past Sunday morning we had an encounter and I tried to put on that happy face but it was fruitless, she could see right through it and I'm sure glad she did. Later that day she confronted me and ask me straight up if we were okay. In that moment I was totally convicted by the Holy Spirit. I had been acting like a real jerk to someone who did not deserve it. She was not the problem, my attitude was the problem.
Now the lesson here is in what happened next, I didn't make excuses, I did explain myself and the situation, but I asked for forgiveness right then and there. I admitted that I had been a jerk and I was wrong, and I needed to make amends with my friend. She was the picture of God's amazing grace even though I didn't deserve it, she forgave me and everything was made right.
The bible says that we are to forgive as God forgave us. Period. If you are a follower of Jesus you know how much God has forgiven you and you are to extend that same amount of forgiveness to everyone else.
Jesus told a story of a man whom had been forgiven a debt that he would never be able to pay back, but then went out and threw his buddy in jail over a debt of five bucks! That guy did not understand forgiveness, nor did he really appreciate the forgiveness he was given.
When we don't forgive others, we don't appreciate the forgiveness God has given us. We need to forgive as God has forgiven us...completely.
Also we need to not hold onto feeling of bitterness and anger. I was doing that and it was hurting my friendship, even if I didn't mean it to. Those feelings can really mess you up. The bible says to let go of those feeling, rid yourself of them.
In addition we need to admit when we are wrong, or have done something wrong. The truth is I had been wanting to talk to her about this for a while but I always put it off or forgot about it, but that didn't help the situation. When you are in the wrong, ask for forgiveness, clear the air right away, don't hold onto it.
It is such an awesome thing to forgive others and be the one who is forgiven.
May our LORD be with you
Josh
I added a song, enjoy!!
http://youtu.be/oIbCpy0CQEo
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