Confession Time

It really bugs me when I have long periods of no writing. I feel like I let myself down, I let the people who read this (if there are any) down and I feel like I let God down. But there is a greater sin that disappointment, that is doing this for my glory and gain. When I discovered that I kinda had a nack for writing, I decided right away that I would use it for God's glory and not my own. I would love to be an author of some kind, as long as God is glorified through it.

So call it impatience or restlessness, whatever. I have not written anything in a few months and I was really feeling the itch, but also feeling not ready. As I said in one of my previous posts God has been teaching and growing me in the last few months. But I was chomping at the bit to write...so I did.

I don't know what you think, but my last two posts have not felt right. They have felt awkward at best. I'm not saying that God can't use them to speak to someone, He is Soverign. I just haven't felt right.

Then it hit me, I have been writing things about God, without feeling the inspriration of God. Why?? Because I wanted to put stuff out there. See I have this terrible longing to be well known or famous in the "Christian community" for my amazing writings and thinking. I see guys like John Piper, Francis Chan, Rob Bell and others and think, "Man, I want to be in the spotlight just like them." The only problem is, when I pull the spotlight off of Jesus and onto myself I have completely lost the purpose and focus of my writing. Even when I'm writing about God, I, personally have to stay focused on God. When I begin to focus on myself and wanting the credit and acclaim for anything, I have spat in God's face.

So....I am sorry. I aplologize to you (the reader), I ask forgiveness from the LORD for this fault in myself. Even I have to go long periods without writing, I will not writing or say anything with out the prompting of the LORD. That is just the way it has to be.